Sunday, May 29, 2005

Bloody plants

Gah, by the prickling of my nose I can tell those damned plants are having a good time again... I don't mind them having sex, but do they have to try having it with me? Why can't they direct their rotten pollen where it'll do some good? Bloody trees...

I've been told it's rape, but I think that's putting it a bit strongly. It's more like sexual assault...



When electronics technicians go bad:

Wednesday, May 25, 2005

Bloody users

Few user interfaces are more intuitive than a touch screen. But even so, there's always someone who'll find the flaw in your otherwise perfect design...


(One of our kiosks being misused at the new J.Lewis store in Trafford Park)

Tuesday, May 10, 2005

Curious day at work...

We were discussing Janet Jackson's 'accident' at work today, and as part of wondering what all the fuss was about someone happened to remark "If you've seen one tit, you've seen them all".

This produced a lull in the conversation as we all pondered the merits of this viewpoint, I hope with an eye to its refutation, into which someone floated a contemplative "If you've seen one tit, you've probably seen two"...

Later on, somehow we got onto the topic of "dubious" websites. Someone mentioned so, of course, I pull it up to see what it was all about. It was slow (no broadband hereabouts) so the machine sat there doing nothing for a while and then, at exactly the moment when a very straight-laced VIP visitor from the States walked in to the room, it displayed a graphic image of the most disgusting toilet-bowl and contents you could possibly imagine... Which I might have managed to talk my way out of had not one of the other bastards remarked, quick as a flash, "Oh, Crem, haven't you tired of that screensaver yet ?"

(From cix:zeitgeist/mp3vsassembler 12 Feb 2004)

Wednesday, May 04, 2005

M4 speed cameras

Apparently there was a go-slow protest organised because speed cameras were installed on the M4.

Am I missing something? - the cameras are (ostensibly) put there to make people drive slower, and the protesters protest by, um, driving slower? Well, that's really going to encourage the authorities to take action... I can see more cameras appearing already ;)

I dunno. I can't help thinking that all 'slow drive' protests are idiotic - by going so slowly they erode public support and by causing more fuel to be burned they both damage the environment and (through fuel tax) put more money in the government's pockets. It'd probably be more effective to drive at ~40MPH. They'd get just as much publicity, do less damage and not fund the very people they're protesting against. Gah...


Apparently there's a general election going on this week - let it not be said I'm unobservant - which means we get the chance to choose which set of lying, conniving, thieving, incompetent bastards gets to ruin the country for the next few years.

Oh, what joy. Let's see, do I want to vote for someone who'll tax me to death with a smile, with a grin or with a will. Gah... Is there a "None of the above" box?

Actually, with politicians it's not the lying, conniving or even thieving that gets to me, it's their incompetence. Useless tossers...