Friday, October 29, 2004

Bad Brain day #1

Today, for example, I wandered out of bed at about 1pm, as is my wont, and meandered downstairs to find Jan waving a box with what seemed to be a roll of scented wall-paper inside it. Apparently she'd been buying presents for my mother's birthday:

"Uh?" I grunted, brain firing on at least one cylinder.

"It's lining paper. For drawers. Makes them smell nicer"

"Ah. Isn't that rather uncomfortable?" <- Missing the point mode.

Then when that was explained she produced various scented soaps.

"She'll think you think she stinks" <- SOH failure mode.

Then she produced a ceramic, well, thing. It was teapot shaped and flat, with a recess. A bit like a squashed ashtray. She waved it at me and said rather belligerently:

"Last time we were there I noticed she didn't have one of these"

[Look of total incomprehension. Why the fuck would a non-smoker have a squashed ceramic ashtray?]

"It's for teabags. You put them in it."

[Even blanker look. You clearly wouldn't get more than a mouthful of tea out of it. What is she going on about?]

". . . after you've used them. . ."

[Simon decides today is not to his liking. Returns to bed.]

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